Saturday, June 26, 2010

Where You Need to Be: Gay Pride 2010 Weekend!

Gay Pride Pictures, Images and Photos
The weekend is finally here and Gay Pride Weekend is in full effect at She's So New York!

Need something to do? Courtesy of Time Out Magazine, here are some of the hottest events taking place this weekend! Take pictures, videos, commentary! Show us what Gay Pride means to you:

Saturday, June 26th:

18th Annual New York City Dyke March (site): Loud and Proud lesbians marching down 5th Avenue. Can you imagine the sight? 5pm (March starts at 5th Avenue and 42nd Street, take the D or F to 42nd Street- Bryant Park)

GirlNation Pride: Free shots, go-go girls, and tunes - need we say more?
Point Break (12 West 45th Street btw. Fifth & Sixth Ave), 10PM
Directions: B, D, F to 47th-50th Street/Rockerfeller Center $5 before 11PM, $10 before

Harlem Pride (site): Harlem's first ever LGBT Pride celebration equipped with vendors, entertainment, and dancing in the streets. 12pm-6pm (119th Street btw. Fifth and Malcolm X Blvd) Directions: 2,3 to 116th Street

Sunday, June 27th

2010 NYC Pride March: This year boasts Judy Shepard (mother of the late Matthew Shepard), Dan Choi (Discharged Soilder & "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" activist), and Constance McMillen - (the lesbian teen recently in the headlines when her prom was canceled after McMillen protested not being able to bring her girlfriend) - as this year's grand marshalls for the annual pride march. The sights of pride are not to be missed: drag queens with their unusual, bizarre, and extravagant costumes, floats boasting celebrity and political supporters, march goers walking proudly in all their glory - who wants to miss that? (Steps off on Fifth Avenue at 36th Street and heads south to Christopher Street)

18th Annual Pridefest (site): Legendary drag diva, Hedda Lettuce, and Drag king troupe Switch 'n' Play are amongst who will be in attedence this year. Alongside vendors, performers, and fellow gays - this is an event you can't miss! 11AM-7PM (Hudson Street btw. 14th Street and Abingdon Square)

Looking for more ways to turn out this weekend? Check out Time Out's all access Gay Pride event calendar!

Xem VanAdams: Homophobia within the Hip Hop Community & Mainstream Media

Xem VanAdams, Award Winning Blogger/Media Personality, tackles the touchy subject of homophobia within the Hip Hop community and music industry as a whole - along with the stigma attached to the black male public image. Poignant, honest and insightful - VanAdams discusses the recent Wale debacle, where the rapper initially canceled his performance from this year's DC Black Pride (he later did perform) and the effect that the mainstream media has on closeted gays within the hip hop community and beyond.

Much like Tamela covered in her "Rising Above the Down Low Culture," post, this IS an epidemic within the black community more so than in any race combined. VanAdams speaks openly on the effect of misguided homophobia, gender issues within the black community and ultimately the responsibility closeted public figures should embrace : openly teaching tolerance and acceptance by being examples, thus giving those who believe in the stigmas attached with the male and female image, the opportunity to live freely.

With the mission statement of Conquering The WORLD, One WORD At A Time, Van Adams gives it to you - no holds barred.



For more of VanAdams and his 'straight, no chaser' take on the world today, check out his site: here

Friday, June 25, 2010

Paris is Burning!


"Paris is Burning" Changed My Life. Yes, I can admit that this declaration sounds a tad bit dramatic, but I mean every word. Filmed in the mid-to-late 1980s, it chronicles the ball culture of New York City and the African American, Latino gay and transgender community involved in it. I equate this movie as a love letter to the "Golden Age" of New York City drag balls that shows the no hold barred reality of a transgender person: in the midst of dying to get out of a body that doesn't belong to you and all the bullshit that comes with it -  LIVE, WALK, TALK,  and MOVE FABULOUSLY.

 



Before the fabulous Leiomy Mizrahi graced the staged and slayed the competition, there was Octavia St. Laurent, Pepper LaBeija, Willi Ninja, Anji Xtravaganza, the renowned  Paris DuPree - names that are synonymous with the ball culture: elaborately-structured competitions in which contestants, in several different categories including runway style walking as they're judged on criteria including "realness," (in which contestants compete on who looks more womanly than the other), their fashion and swag. And of course their voguing ability - If you're familiar with terms like "suicide dip," "duck walk," "soft and cunt," - then you KNOW what I'm talking back. If not, get familiar!  So, sit back and get you some history!



Most of the film alternates between footage of balls and interviews with prominent members of the scene. Many of the contestants vying for trophies are representatives of "Houses" (each equipped with a 'mother' and 'father' ) that serve as intentional families, social groups, and performance teams. Houses and ball contestants who consistently won in their walks eventually earned a "legendary" status. This movie is so much more than that. It tackles prostitution, poverty, addiction, racism, gender identity, classism - but admist the harsh barriers placed against them, it essentially shows the family structure of the ball scene : young ball-walkers who aren't accepted anywhere else, including their OWN homes and the realization that these "houses" saved lives - a platform to express themselves freely without regard to any naysayers or non-believers. It's empowering seeing a large array of people from all walks of live daring to love themselves as openly as possible. Cowards WISH they had the balls to be as fabulous as they were and still are.



Netflix this movie, buy this movie, watch this movie online. Sit back and pay attention to the story. Get a feel for it. Sympathize but don't feel sorry for these innovators. They've made their mark in history.

Portia M. Walker

Information courtesy of Wikipedia

In Loving Memory: Farrah Fawcett's Legacy

It's as if the world decided to be extremely cruel on June 25, 2009. Not only did the world lose the King Of Pop, but we also mourned the loss of 70's icon Farrah Fawcett. Fawcett, star of classic television show Charlie's Angels (she was also renowned for her full head of illustrious hair she sported during the show), and the made-for-television movie "The Burning Bed," died at the age of 62, following complications of a rare anal cancer - the subject of her touching and personal documentary that highlighting the struggle of her overcoming this terrible disease. In-depth and at times shocking, Fawcett showed the world an in-depth look at her struggle.

 She's So New York commemorates Ms. Fawcett and thanks her for her legacy.

In Loving Memory: The King of Pop

It's been a year since he left us abruptly and some of us have been messed up ever since. The King of Pop, Michael Jackson entered our homes as youngsters and provided a lot of us with the soundtrack to our lives. When Jackson died suddenly of a cardiac arrest on this day last year, the world mourned the loss of an innovator, a humanitarian, a leader - someone who gave of himself without question, even when the world turned their backs on him. He preached love and humanity for all and never stopped being the consummate performer. The man was ahead of his time, an immortal amongst mortals. He was, and always will be the Greatest Performer of All Time. She's So New York commemorates the 1 year anniversary of Michael Jackson's death with a collection of videos and songs near and dear to us. We miss you Michael, more than you'll ever know.

















5 Questions with Jeff Parshley

He is one of the men responsible for spearheading the fight againt Prop. 8, demanding that California allow gay couples to marry. Alongside photographer Adam Bouska, Jeff Parshley, is the co-founder of the incredible "NoH8" campaign and he is continuing the fight against ignorance, sharing the message that "Love is for all." She's So New York sits down with Parshley as he gives us his views on Gay Pride as well as sharing his own coming out story:

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She's So New York: Despite the shortcomings of Prop. 8, how do you feel about the evolution of Gay Culture and its image in the mainstream media?

Jeff Parshley: I think A LOT has changed! Maybe not as much as we would all like but it is definitely evolving into something that is more accepted. The NOH8 Campaign had an OPEN SHOOT (which anyone/everyone is welcome to join in) in Hollywood at Hollywood United Methodist Church and we had over 500 people come out to support equality. Think back 40 or 50 years ago, do you think over 500 people would be waiting in line for hours to show their support for Equality by lending their face to a photo campaign?

SSNY: What can people do to help support the gay marriage bill being passed?

JP: VOTE every time you have the chance!!!!

SSNY: What do you think about the current administration's Gay Rights Agenda?

JP: I feel like they intend to create change and some have good intentions to hold to their word, however there is ALWAYS more that can be done.

SSNY: Do you have a short coming out story you want to share?

JP: When I was about 20 I felt like it was time to come out to my Mom. I had to do it over the phone because it was so hard for me to say face to face. As i began to tell her, I said I needed to talk to her about something important but that I didn't know how to say it. She immediately said "Is it that you are gay?" as surprised as I was that she said it before I did, it was such a relief. I finally came clean and didnt have to hide who i was anymore. She then goes on to tell me..."I knew since you were 8" I thought Jeez why didn't you tell me sooner. ;-)

SSNY: What does gay pride mean to you?

JP: To me Gay Pride means feeling comfortable with yourself and being free to express yourself. A lot of people either choose to, or have to, hide who they are as a person. Some are even ashamed of who they are. To have PRIDE in who you are is such a freeing feeling and i think it helps people live a happy life.

For More Information on the "NoH8" campaign as well as Proposition 8, please click here

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Coming Out: Nicole

As we continue to celebrate Gay Pride week, we share with you personal stories from the eyes of the ladies (and men) who express what Gay Pride means to them. They share their stories, struggles and triumphs - living testaments to what NYC is all about: living and loving. Here we hear from Nicole, a 34 year old lesbian as she shares with us her coming out story:

Who is She: Nicole, 34 years old

Where is She From: New York


"I am so New York because living in NY is not just about where you rest your head -  its a lifestyle, an experience and there is always an opportunity if your hungry enough to go and get it."
  
How do you know what normal is at 7 or 8 years old? The answer is you just don't - but I learned that pretty fast. I first "came out" in elementary school, but it didn't take long for me to run right back in. When I was in the second grade I had the biggest crush on this beautiful girl in my class named Marjorie. I was crazy for her! I'd spend my allowance money (which wasn't much back then) on candy for us, and I'd spend my time in class daydreaming about her and writing love notes like "Do you like me? Check yes or no."
That's where the trouble began. I gave the note to one of the girls in class and asked her to give it to Marjorie for me.
As soon as she read it she laughed and when we got in trouble for passing notes, she just waited for lunch time and told everybody I was a "gaylord" and had the cooties. I was so embarrassed. I didn't know what 'gay' was but I knew it had to be terrible if everyone was making fun of me. After that I kept all my future crushes to myself and tried my best to fit in, because I didn't want anyone to think I was still gay even though I was. I didn't officially 'come out' until I was 21.
Now I sit back and wish I could wipe the tears off  that scared little girl's face - afraid to be who she was. I've learned what pride is - it's being proud of who you are and not letting anyone try to tear you down or make you become what you're not. It's standing up for what you believe in and representing it at its best.

She's So New York proudly salute the men and women like Nicole, who love fearlessly. We encourage our readers to inform and inspire each other and you can start by sharing your stories with us! Any coming out stories you want to share? What does Gay Pride mean to you? Remember - your story can help someone else write their own...

Send your submissions to walkergordonproductions@gmail.com.

"She's So New York: We Are Not A Website, We Are A Community"

Special Event: Leaving Neverland

LEAVING NEVERLAND:
In memorium of the one-year anniversary of MJ's passing, Tony Award winning director and choreographer, George Faison, is staging a one-night only tribute to the late King of Pop,Michael Jackson, with whom he worked on many occasions during his theatrical and musical career. June 25th, 2010, Showtime is 8pm, at the Faison Firehouse Theater, 6 Hancock Place, West 124th Street, between St.Nicholas & Morningside Avenues in Harlem, NYC. Written by Quincy Troupe.

Directed by George Faison. Musical Director, Brian Whitted. With Toni Seawright, Deborah Gregory, Daniel Carlton, Russell Ferguson, Kevin Hunte, Angel Morales and Mike Hammond. Admission: $20.

In News Today: Discharged Soldier To Lead 2010 Gay Pride March

A National Guard lieutenant who was arrested earlier this year for protesting the Pentagon's "Don't Ask Don't Tell" policy will be honored as one of the grand marshals in next week's Pride march. NY1's Rebecca Spitz filed the following report.

Never backing down in the face of adversity is just one of the reasons Lieutenant Dan Choi is one of the grand marshals in this year's Heritage of Pride march.

A member of the Army National Guard, Choi spent 15 months in Iraq. But he put the brakes on a promising military career when he came out during an interview on national television in 2009. Since then, he has effectively become the poster soldier for repealing the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy which forbids service members from opening, discussing or disclosing their homosexuality.

"The moment that I wore my uniform, fighting for this country, I swore to uphold what this country means. It means liberty and justice for all, for all of us. And we cannot leave out any single member, any single part of this society," Choi said.

But it hasn't been an easy road for the West Point graduate with a degree in Arabic. After 11 years of service, Choi got a discharge notice, yet he still continues to serve."I find it very strange that I am allowed to continue serving while 500 people have been kicked out this year and hundreds more are being kicked out as long as the president and Congress don't fully repeal 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell,'" Choi said.

In March, Choi and a gay U.S. Army captain chained themselves to the White House fence in protest of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," trying to take their message directly to President Barack Obama. They were arrested and spent the night undeterred in a D.C. prison.

"We had the shackles on our feet, we had chains on our waist and we had handcuffs restricting our motion but we never felt more free in our entire lives," Choi said.Choi says it's crucial his message gets across and that no soldier ever feels alone. "How disgusting to think that 60 years from now they're going to look back on this time in 2010 and say you weren't able to serve in your country's military because you are an American who happens to be gay? We're going to be so ashamed," Choi said.

For more information on this year's pride march, click here!

Content Courtesy of NY1

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

In News Today: Obama Administration's Gay Rights Agenda

Content courtesy of The New York Times
President Obama vowed Tuesday night to push ahead with his gay rights agenda, assuring an audience of gay men and lesbians at the White House that he remains committed to repealing the Defense of Marriage Act, which allows states to refuse to recognize same same-sex marriages performed in other states.
“Committed gay and lesbian couples deserve the same rights and responsibilities afforded to any married couple in this country,’’ Mr. Obama declared, during a White House reception to celebrate June as gay and lesbian pride month.

Although he has promised to press Congress to repeal the 1996 Defense of Marriage law, Mr. Obama opposes same-sex marriage on religious grounds — a position that is a sore point with many gay rights advocates who see the president on the wrong side of an important civil rights issue. Instead, Mr. Obama favors civil unions, which he argues would afford gay men and women the same rights as married couples.
At the reception Tuesday, the president pointed to progress on a variety of issues important to gay men and lesbians, including expansion of hospital visitation rights for same-sex partners and steps toward eliminating Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, the military’s policy barring gay men and women from serving openly. Advocates for gay rights groups say they are pleased, but are looking for more.


To continue reading, click here:
June 26th - August 7th, 2010

Most shows at 7:30 and 9:30 - Check schedule for exact times

Dixon Place

161A Chrystie Street (Delancey/Rivington)


Some shows are Free, others are $10 advance online purchase/$15 at door/$25 for any 3 shows/$60 for HOT! Festival passs and may be purchased online.


New York's HOT! Festival is the longest running LGBTQ Festival in the world!

The Village Voice calls it "New York's Best Gay Theater Festival!" For 19 years, Dixon Place has presented emerging and established artists in the Queer universe who present their finest works in theater, music, dance, performance, and literature. 2010's HOT! Festival features Dynasty Handbag, Scotty Heron, Frank DeCaro, Robert Richards, Holly Hughes, World Famous Bob, Reno, Liz Liguori & Jesse Mann, and over 60 more artists! For 2010, we've lowered our prices to all shows at only $10 (advance). Many shows in our cozy cocktail lounge are free and you're invited to our post-show parties where you meet your favorite artists. Check the HOT! Festival website for more information and updated schedule and pricing. Make HOT! Festival part of your sizzling New York summer!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Coming Out: Shahtesha Grant

As we celebrate Gay Pride week, we share with you personal stories from the eyes of the ladies (and men) who express what Gay Pride means to them. They share their stories, struggles and triumphs - living testaments to what NYC is all about: living and loving. Here we hear from Shahtesha Grant, a bi-sexual mother of two from Brooklyn, talking about loving freely with no regrets!

Who Is She: Shahtesha Grant, Age 24
Her Borough: Brooklyn
Her Passions: Being a Mom, Graphic Arts, Fashion Design & being in front of the cameras
"I am So New York because I am so Brooklyn. I breathe it, I talk it and I live it. There's no place like home and home is New York!"

"When I think of Gay Pride the first thing that comes to my mind is a unity of people who are free to be themelves. I think of love unconditionally. I think of being happy.


I remember when I was a 13 year old virgin dating a 16 year old boy. We would kiss, he'd get hard and I'd go home. Just like that.  I remember his 17 year old sister telling me that she thinks I am gay. Gay? The word and its meaning puzzled me as I thought to myself: "Am I Gay?"


 I noticed that I was very attracted to the female body. I loved the curves of a woman. I loved the lips, hips and ass. I would watch sexy ultra feminine women walk and I'd watch the studs too. It was as if I wanted them all!  I started talking to ladies on the chat line and hanging out in Greenwich Village. I became very aware of myself: wore rainbow bracelets and fashionable about my appearance. I was partying in lesbian clubs and having a great time. At 16, I experienced my first sexual experice with a female and I enjoyed every bit.


While many days was fun and I was busy portraying myself as proud teen lesbian, I wasn't OUT yet to my family. I would come home and get "UnGay" - taking off all my rainbow items and leaving my stud looking friends somewhere far. I lived with my mom and I felt like she could smell a lesbian from a mile away and I wasn't ready to be smelled out in front of her. I know my mother was accepting but for her to know I was gay, would mean my dad and everyone else would know too! With my my dad being a member of the Nation of Islam and my grandmother a Reverend, it would be long talks with the both of them that I wasn't ready to have.
As I got older, I decided I wanted to have kids and should "try" men out. I dated a few guys during my college years and one night I decided to try sex with one- I loved it! It helped me open up to guys and made me realize that sex is sex and love is love. I love people that love me. Having sex with a man OR woman, is all the same to me.


So now, 12 years later after finding out who I truly am inside, Gay Pride to me means self-acceptance. Loving the people I love - man or woman by just being real with myself.
Coming Out Stories you want to share? Stories of successful same sex relationships? Triumph stories? Gay Pride Memories? Bi-Sexual/Curious? Transgendered? Are you the brother or sister of a gay male or female? Are you still in the closet? Why? What does Gay Pride mean to you?
Send in your submissions to walkergordonproductions@gmail.com

Gay Pride 2010: "NoH8" Campaign

On November 4, 2008 Proposition 8 passed in California, amending the state Constitution to ban same-sex marriage. The defeat provoked a groundswell of initiative within the GLBT community at a grassroots level, with many new political and protest organizations being formed in response.

The NOH8 Campaign is a photographic silent protest created by celebrity photographer Adam Bouska (http://www.bouska.net) and partner Jeff Parshley in direct response to the passage of Proposition 8. Photos feature subjects with duct tape over their mouths, symbolizing their voices being silenced by Prop 8 and similar legislation around the world, with "NOH8" painted on one cheek in protest.

 

Nearly one year since its inception, the NOH8 Campaign has grown to over 2,000 faces and continues to grow at an exponential rate. The campaign began with portraits of everyday Californians from all walks of life and soon rose to include politicians, military personnel, newlyweds, law enforcement, artists, celebrities, and many more.

 
The NOH8 Campaign has received overwhelming support from around the world, appearing on various local and national news programs and publications. The images are currently being used on various social networking sites to spread the message of equality, predominantly Facebook and Twitter. Eventually the images are expected to be compiled for a large-scale media campaign.

Funds raised by the NOH8 Campaign will be used to continue promoting and raising awareness for Marriage Equality and anti-discrimination on a global level through an educational and interactive media campaign.


"No matter what language you speak or what country you live in, everybody everywhere speaks the universal language of love. We are all human, and we deserve to be treated equally. "
She's So New York supports the "NoH8" campaign for our friends, families and readers.
For more information, click here

Content taken from "NoH8"'s official website

Where You Need To Be: Aids Candlelight Vigil NYC

AIDS CANDLELIGHT VIGIL NYC
Friday, June 25th, 2010

7:30pm

Stonewall Place & 7th Ave South

FREE!

Aids Candlelight Vigil NYC is a memorial to all the people who died of HIV/AIDS, to show support for survivors in addition to support for those now afflicted with HIV/AIDS. This event is a nondenominational event. There is no discrimination of color, race and/or sexual preference. Aids Candlelight Vigil NYC is not associated with any political, religious, or city, state or federal agency. It is just a group of loving, caring individuals with a common cause, to REMEMBER, and to SHOW SUPPORT. Everyone is welcome! SHOW THE WORLD AND NYC THAT HIV/AIDS HAS A FACE AND A NAME AND EVERYONE IS AFFECTED!

Aids Candlelight Vigil NYC provides candles free of charge. The procession starts at Sheridan Square Park and proceeds down Christopher Street. . a banner and the wreath is carried down Christopher Street. Supporters of those struggling with HIV/AIDS, and friends, family members and loved ones of those who have passed from AIDS carry light candles in a quiet march to the waterfront. At the end of Christopher Street at the Hudson River waterfront a wreath is tossed into the waters in memory of those who have passed of AIDS.

For more info: here


Monday, June 21, 2010

GAY PRIDE 2010: The History of the Stonewall Riots

As we celebrate 2010 NYC Pride Week, She's So New York recognizes the history of the courageous who stood for Gay Pride so that ourselves, our family members, our friends - strangers we don't know; can walk proudly as they wish. We are still not there. With Prop. 8 preventing many of our long standing couples from marrying and the liberties a married family affords, we are still pushing. No matter how long it takes us, we'll get there. Today, we focus on the pinnacle of Gay history and essentially, the freedom to be gay and proud: The Stonewall Riots.



From  the Movie: Stonewall Uprising


The Stonewall rebellion was a defining moment in the history of the gay rights movement. That uprising awakened gay men and lesbians to the idea that they were being attacked as a group. That, in turn, awakened them to the idea that they needed to organize as a group. Advocacy and lobbying groups mushroomed after Stonewall, and now include everything from nonprofit groups mounting anti-discrimination advertising campaigns to political action committees to housing and health-related initiatives.

It was on the night of June 27, 1969, that a routine police raid on the Stonewall Inn, a Christopher Street hangout for gays, run by the Mafia, prompted not cowed obedience from the customers but uncharacteristic fury and outrage. It was not unusual for the police to raid gay bars, and they did so regularly, to arrest transvestites and harass the customers. What made the raid of the Stonewall Inn unusual is that the gay and lesbian patrons spontaneously fought back, tossing beer cans, bricks and anything else in reach at the police officers, who responded by beating many of the protesters and arresting dozens of others.

Excerpt courtesy of The New York Times


To continue reading: click here

We are asking our SSNY readers: What Does Gay Pride Mean to You? How do you feel about the advancement of homosexuals being recognized in mainstream media? Bi-Sexual? Bi-Curious? Transgendered? Are you still in closet? Why? Send your submissions to walkergordonproductions@gmail.com!

To Pride Week With Love


I have always been enamoured by gay culture and its essential family structure. The extravagance of drag queens and ballrooms; the duck walks, suicide dips, "sashay chante" - I have an infatuation with it all! I add "Paris is Burning," "Stonewall Uprising," "To Wongfoo: Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar," and "Priscilla: Queen of the Dessert," to my Net-Flix list. This is clearly no one night love affair.


Growing up in a very open family, my mother never shied me away from her bevy of gay friends: men who were loud, abrasive yet charming, funny, witty, and everything "normal" men weren't - I loved them. After the death of my father, I yearned for a male in my life;  and in some weird way they were exactly what I needed. They exuded femininity more than any woman I knew but you KNEW they were men - they were strong without signs of forced or excessive masculinity. They walked the fine line at times, with some women heartbroken after realizing that their love would ultimately be un-requited. They ultimately settled with being their "hags" instead - a fair consolation prize for any homosexual loving woman. From those early experiences, I realized that gay men  - make me laugh effortlessly, check me when necessary and were my support system without question.


Lesbians for me represented the evolution of the modern day woman. "She" never looked the same: masculine, feminine - an enigma. Lesbians break the barriers of "women-oriented" roles and set a tone for what some men wish they could be. I watched female friends struggle with the barrage of "penis-envy" insults and drawn out conversations of being told to get married and have kids. A lot of lesbians DO want marriage and kids - penis not included.

In my early 20's, my entire existence was centered around my gay friends. Those were best damn days of my life. Christopher Street, Stonewall, Chi Chi's, The Warehouse, Escuelitas - I was a frequent in the gay club scene. DJ's knew me by name, the go go boys blew me kisses, and the Queens chatted me up between sets. The same with lesbian centered events. Upon meeting my first transgender friend, I instantly sympathized with the idea of feeling trapped in the wrong body. Imagine living your life in a body you feel doesn't belong to you.

These people's struggles were BEYOND any dramatic episode I ever endured.  And despite any short-comings - they manage to live as happily as they possibly can. It's absolutely admirable. Their courage intimidates hate-mongers, giving them reason to fight against them so ignorantly. With the recent surge in the mainstream media of celebs publicly outing themselves, organizing and participating in California's Proposition 8 protests and participating in the "No H8" campaign, it is slowly becoming "acceptable" to openly live an "alternative lifestyle."

Shows like "The L Word," "Queer As Folk," and "Noah's Ark," shattered the stereotypical images of homosexual living and we rejoiced in the imagery of finally being recognized as human. To see the "real" of same sex relationships and the struggle with acceptance, it gives light to the stereotype of "choosing" to be gay. These shows breathed life into the gay movement as we held viewing parties, and mourned when these shows were taken off the air, settling for whatever "gay character added to Rom com" show the networks were kind enough to give us.  Thank God for new shows like "The Real L Word," and channels like LOGO, a channel that some might call solace.

With an entire week to celebrate, we will spend this week discussing gay culture and its influence in the Big Apple. From the history of the Stonewall Riots of 1969 to the 2010 NYC Pride Parade taking place on Sunday, June 27th, She's So New York celebrates LGBT pride with our friends and family and will continue to fight for the day when same sex loving people can love as freely and as openly as possible.

For more information about Gay Pride 2010, Click here

Portia

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Gay Pride Week!!!


Next week, it's all about GAY PRIDE!! We will be posting and attending events, taking pictures galore and talking the real about homosexuality and pride in the NYC with you all next week! Coming Out Stories you want to share? Stories of successful same sex relationships? Triumph stories? Gay Pride Memories? Bi-Sexual? Bi-Curious? Transgendered? Are you the brother or sister of a gay male or female? What does Gay Pride mean to you? We want you! Send your entries to walkergordonproductions@gmail.com!

Friday, June 18, 2010

S-E-X

Sex... While everyone may NOT be having it; they're thinking about it, defining it, and some are still trying to figure it out.

Some of us use sex as a coping mechanism, much like some use food. We've even all made the mistake a time or two, confusing sex and love, and praying that they can co-exist with one special person - usually the exact opposite occurs.

Some use sex as a measure of sensuality and inner sexuality, a means of declaring that they are what sex is supposed to be: liberating, engaging, special, sexy, wild and crazy. We can be whoever we want to be once the lights go off (or on if you're nasty!). The idea of shedding our "former" selves to indulge in our fantasies? Who doesn't love sex for those reasons? Once our clothes come back on, we are back to our normal lives, sprinkled with smiles of remembering naughty escapades. Those memories mean something to us, even when we've surpassed those parts of our lives.  
 
But what some fail to realize and much like Tamela covered - the act of sex does not determine your sexiness. Sensuality and sex may meet somewhere down the middle, but they are not in any way
related. To be a woman IS sensuality. We move with fluid-like motions effortlessly and sometimes absentmindedly, without noticing the salivating stares men and women give when they see us walk. The shapes of our bodies are like cursive letters come to life: We are poetry in motion! The real beauty in a woman doesn't come from clothes or even the sense of style itself. Its in who we are, bare naked - not at all on a physical level but on the mental and emotional. Our swagger; the way a woman can express herself with her body is magical. We captivate and intrigue men and women with pouty lips, seductive eyes, and throaty laughs; making their blood pressure (and other things) rise all without breaking a sweat.
 
Knowing this, makes sex that much more enjoyable. That self awareness, the declaration that "Yes. I AM the Shit," makes our sexual partners yearn us, need us - we are the air that they need to breathe.
 
Sex, much like living is learned. We make mistakes along the way - lots of them. But the mistakes, if we absorb them for the experiences that they are, can shape us. It can determine what we want for ourselves without second guessing and wasting time on the people who cannot give us what we're looking for. That independence is freeing. Sex in the NYC is much like sex anywhere else, but for us it's much much more.
Photo Courtesy of Khayyam Omar Photography, Model: Shaquoia T. Lanier

We will continue to cover S-E-X when the official launch of She's So New York arrives late summer. Until then, we're asking: Do you have a fetish? Are you into anything that may be considered taboo? Are you addicted to sex? Any threesome experiences? Experiences you'd like to forget? (who doesn't?) We're looking for REAL stories from the REAL women living, loving and sexing in NYC. Send your entries to walkergordonproductions@gmail.com!

"Man. Toy." Photo Exhibit



Now what's sex without some (ahem) equipment? Our wonderful and creatively INSANE (in a good way!) SSNY woman Abigail Ekue, created the "Man. Toy." exhibit centered around what some women might consider the. best. toy. ever.




"I started shooting a series of photos featuring all of my sex toys. As I continued to shoot, the dildo was the most versatile of the toys; it could be placed in more scenarios and still “work” in the photo. That’s how Man. Toy. was born—anywhere you can find man, you can find a dildo. There is an underlying sexual message in the images because of the dildo, but I placed the dildo in non-sexual situations intentionally. "He" becomes a character we follow on various adventures or a sculpture, a piece of art."




Amazed, shocked, yet enthralled like we are? Learn more about Abigail's Ode to A Dildo exhibit here!

EXCLUSIVE BLOG by Kittie: SEXTING 101

“Wen I gt hm, U betta hav on nuttin butta pair of stilettos & a smile on, my lil’ porn star!!! Send me a pic of dat thirsty tw*t rite now!”


I can remember a time when you had to wait until you got home to check your phone messages from your Radio Shack answering machine. Fast forward to 2010 where not only does everyone and their kid have a cellular telephone, but the world has now become addicted to “SEXTING,” and everybody is doing it, NOT just the kool kids.


With the invention of the Personal Computer, the portable video camera & an eager audience, the birth of leaked “sex tapes” began to emerge. Left and right celebrities and regular folks alike face the embarrassment and inquisitive minds that inevitably materialize when your nipples are on display and your ‘O’ face is being played for the umpteenth time on “slo-mo."



This brings us to our present state of favorite form of communication where racy, if not down right X-rated texts, usually accompanied by a crotch shot (in the bathroom where the lighting and mirrors are best suited for the task) are ever present. No longer are we satisfied with Hallmark salutations and the occasional private e-mail professing our desires expressed in coded candor...


Read More on Miss Kittie's Exclusive Blog on Global Grind!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Abigail Ekue: Casual Sex Is Still Dead


Abigail Ekue is the ultimate New York woman. Born and Bred, she is the writer behind the blog Random Musings and author behind "The Darker Side of Lust (seen right), has a B.S. in Sports Sciences and is a certified Athletic Trainer.  She uses that knowledge and her clinical experience in her non fiction portfolio, that consists of work focusing on health, fitness and nutrition, food writing, restaurant reviews and profiles, personal essays and social commentaries. Her articles have been featured both in-print and online in AM New York, Afro Times, City Scoops Magazine, Livestrong.com, AskMen.com, to name a few.
This UrbanErotika poet gladly gives us her opinion on casual sex, and her downright refusal of its existence as an older, wiser woman, living in NYC:



Nowadays when I have sex, I do a lot of thinking afterwards. I’ve come to realize it’s a sign of growth. Early on in my sexual life, I had an on-to-the-next-one mentality. I rarely looked back. The sex itself was the beginning and the end of the experience with that person. If I had hooked up with a friend, we remained friends but that didn’t mean we remained sexual partners.

Last year, I wrote The Death of Casual Sex and yes, it’s still dead. The older something gets the deader it gets; makes sense, no? Let me explain.

I now know the reason I became so aware that casual sex was dead…I’m getting older. And the people I deal with are getting older too. As you get older sex becomes more about connection instead of strictly play or learning, and the older you get the more aware of the consequences you become. Sex becomes more about quality instead of quantity. Hitting the 60-man mark is not a necessity. Sex is a connection. There’s a reason depressed people act out sexually (promiscuity) or retreat completely from sex; the connection or lack thereof. Think about why people have rebound sex. They’re hurting from a relationship that’s over. Flings are short-lived intense sexual and emotional connections on fast-forward. Enjoy your jelly bracelets, lipstick parties or whatever the latest sexual fad is, kiddies. It won’t last.
And then there were two…

A “platonic” friend that you have sex with occasionally or a lover you have an intense sexual bond with but the friendship is fuzzy at best—who would you choose? Can either develop into something more?

See, wanting more means you’re not in the realm of casual. That’s where I am. I don’t give ultimatums. I think, state how I feel, listen to their feeling and thoughts on the situation and then make a decision. And I’m sure if the sexual relationship ends with both men, I won’t go running to next dude. A few years ago, that would’ve been my course of action.

Who has the energy for casual sex? It’s more work to keep things casual than to just let your emotions take their natural course. You can be in a relationship and then casually do it in the kitchen sometimes, you know what I mean? But seriously, the last really great lover I had was 3 years ago; it had a 5-day a week consistency, full of experimentation and the basics, we mastered each other’s bodies. He was also quite a bit older than me. Since then, I’m sure the level of dissatisfaction I felt wasn’t due to do with the sex I was having but with the lack of connection. The lines between casual and serious started to blur and that’s not what I wanted. It didn’t end well. He was pissed. I was pissed at the 30+ phone calls that night. I was pissed at the forged emails. I was pissed at the bus stop harassment. But I’m not pissed at why he was pissed. He shared with me and we created a bond. It’s hard to be casual. So no, I’m not pissed he was hurt, but I am pissed at myself for not sharing what I shared with him with someone who wasn’t casual.

Read More at Random Musings, and become a fan today!
What's the Joy of Sex, without the Joy of Food? How many of us are intrigued by the correlation between satisfying your hunger both with food and sex? Guest blogger and avid foodie Sanura Weathers, the woman behind My Life Runs On Food, shares with us her twist on a simple yet adored american classic! Post-Coital treat maybe? ;-)


When Portia Walker, the Editor-in-chief of She’s So New York asked for a post about aphrodisiac foods, I knew peanuts would be the impromptu ingredient on an already planned menu that includes making strawberry ice cream. Strawberries, especially the local variety, are a well known sensual fruit. In New York, they’re in season from late May to mid-June. Ever had a tiny, juicy strawberry from a farmer’s market? It’s more sensual in taste than a commercial brand that falsely advertises their berries to be the sweetest. At least one recipe using local strawberries was desired for a summer menu. The question is how can peanuts be incorporated into an already planned menu that attempts to make one dessert per week?


Nothing spoils the taste of peanut butter like unrequited love. - Charlie Brown

Here’s a simple survey that doesn’t involve extensive psychological analysis. Randomly survey a group of men about their taste for peanuts, and the majority of them will drool over hearing the word. Here’s an observation: Open a jar of peanut butter in front of the same group of men, and they’ll turn to butter in your hands. Don’t be surprised, if more men want to participate, because they want a sniff of their favorite aroma. Peanut butter is a man’s Kryptonite.

How can a guy’s happy nut and a girl’s sweet strawberry be combined in the same dish? The inspiration is the peanut butter and jelly sandwich that has proven how two different ingredients have an unlikely delicious chemistry of taste. Does this sound like many relationships? However, a romantic meal of peanut butter and jelly is like asking for quickie relationship. An ice cream sandwich is more of a whimsical, elegant idea. Either make strawberry ice cream with the recipe provided below or purchase a high quality brand. Sandwich it in between two Salted Peanut Cookies (a simple recipe provided below), and there’s an aphrodisiacal recipe for She’s So New York:


Strawberry Ice Cream

Ingredients

3 cups half-and-half

6 egg yolks

1 cup sugar

Pinch of salt

2 cups sliced strawberries

1 tsp. vanilla extract

Directions

1. In a saucepan over medium heat, warm the half-and-half until steam begins to rise from the surface, 4 to 5 minutes.

2. In a heatproof bowl, whisk together the egg yolks, sugar and salt until blended. Gradually add the hot half-and-half, whisking constantly until fully incorporated. Transfer the mixture to a clean saucepan and set over medium-low heat. Cook, stirring constantly with a wooden spoon or spatula, until the custard is thick enough to coat the back of the spoon and leaves a clear trail when a finger is drawn through it, 8 to 10 minutes; do not allow the custard to boil.

3. Pour the custard through a fine-mesh sieve set over a clean bowl and stir in the strawberries and vanilla. Nestle the bowl in a larger one filled halfway with ice and water and cool the custard to room temperature, stirring occasionally. Refrigerate until cold, at least 1 hour.

4. Transfer the custard to an ice cream maker and freeze according to the manufacturer’s instructions. Transfer the ice cream to a freezer-safe container. Cover and freeze until firm, at least 3 hours or up to 3 days, before serving.

Makes about 1 quart.

Strawberry Ice Cream recipe reproduced from Williams-Sonoma Kitchen.


Salted Peanut Cookies

Ingredients

3 cups flour

1/2 tsp. baking soda

1 cup (2-4 oz. sticks) butter

1-1/2 cup brown sugar

2 eggs

2 tsp. vanilla extract

2 cups salted peanuts

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375° F. Light butter the bottom of two baking sheets and the bottom of a glass. (optional) Dip the glass in sugar. Place aside.
2. Cream the butter and the brown sugar until light and fluffy. About 5 minutes.
3. As the butter and sugar is creaming, measure and sift the flour and the baking soda together. Set aside.

4. Mix the eggs and the vanilla extract into the butter mixture.

5. Add flour and mix until just incorporated. Add peanuts to the cookie batter and mix well.

6. Drop cookie dough by the teaspoon, two inches apart on the baking sheets.

7. (Optional) Using the sugar lined bottom of the glass, press the glass gently onto of the cookies to flatten them. Continue sugaring the bottom of the glass when the dough sticks to the bottom.

8. Place baking sheet into the oven. Bake cookies for 10 to 13 minutes, until the bottom is golden brown.

9. Immediately transfer cookies to a metal rack to cook completely.


Salted Peanut Cookie recipe reproduce from Hilaire Walden’s “The Great Big Cookie Book”.

To Assemble the Salted Peanut Cookie and Strawberry Ice Cream Sandwich

Ingredients

2 Salted Peanut Cookies

1 scoop of strawberry ice cream

Directions

1. Lay the first cookie, bottom side up on a plate. Place a scoop of strawberry ice cream on top. Place the second cookie, bottom side down, on top of the ice cream. Repeat with other cookies and ice cream.

2. Enjoy!


Ms. Weathers shares her love for cooking on her blog My Life Runs On Food. Follow her on twitter and facebook!

Trying out this recipe? We want some too! ;-) Send your pictures to walkergordonproductions@gmail.com!

One to Watch: ForEverMore

Every Thursday, She's So New York unleashes it's "One to Watch" series, where we debut the latest and greatest music from the ladies and gentlemen of the Big Apple. Today and in celebration of "S-E-X Week," we couldn't think of a fitting song other than "Goodie Two Shoes," from the Brooklyn based singing trio: ForEverMore. Comprised of singers, Zerenyti, Kye Charizma, and Tiny, these sexy ladies exude sensuality, sex appeal and confidence with their track. Take a listen:

ForEverMore is far more than a singing group.

They are one entity, a business. ForEverMore realize that by utilizing their natural born talents and with a lot of hard work, they have the potential to generate millions. After years of honing their craft separately, they joined forces to create a unique competitive advantage over other recording artist entering the same field of music. While most labels create girl groups the same height, size, complexion and sound, ForEverMore gives their target audience a taste of reality. Each member of the group has their own unique sound which when married together forms a sound like no other!


ForEverMore performing at Long Island University's Brooklyn Campus' Showcase



Other advantages that ForEverMore possess fall into the musical category. All members have the talent to write and vocally arrange radio ready songs. Each member has developed skills in different genre such as music production, cosmetology, media arts, and video production in order to be more involved with the development of the group. This has enabled ForEverMore to be self contained and motivated. Most important is their belief in GOD. Through time ForEverMore has developed a chemistry not to be broken by the influences of negativity, making them a force not to be reckoned with!

Be sure to check out ForEverMore here on their Youtube page as well as FaceBook,and Twitter!

Wanna be featured on our "One to Watch" showcase? Send your entries to walkergordonproductions@gmail.com!

If It Isn't Easy Getting It In, Perhaps It's Time To Act Out

We're constantly being  reminded of how much men love the whole role playing bit. They don't want to just bone their girlfriends, they want to bone characters. The only thing that gets a guy off more than cheating, is getting the chance to get it on with his girl, who's pretending to be another girl.

It might be hard, initially, to bring up the idea of role-playing in the bedroom. However, if you're close enough to your love to get naked and sweaty with him, then, you should be close enough to tell him how you might like it. Once you get him on board, throw around a multitude of scenarios and see which one you both lean towards. Once you've agreed on who you'll be, explain the aspects you like about whatever scenario you're about to act out. Obviously, sex is rarely sexy when it's planned, so, I suggest leaving the exact moment you want to do it unspecified, simply saying you'll do it, "when the time's right."

If there's to be one main critique of this piece from a feminist point of view, it would be due to the submissive characters I suggest gals and gays to try. Well, allow me to remind the fem's that fantasies are almost always a reflection of what we ache for in real life. Wimps want to be tough guys. (Most) Obese people dream of being thin. We're women. That means that the bulk of our time goes towards being our most powerful and nurturing selves. We make it our business to be on top of everything and everyone, all the time. So, it should come as no surprise that, between the sheets, we get our rocks off when our boy-toys tell us why we've been bad, for a change!

While Spike TV, Vivid Video, Hustler, and other men mags give great visual on how one can don herself as a milk maid, or a slutty Catholic school girl, they do little to explain how to bring the visual to life. As a former-fornicator, yet, fiend for a vicariously good romp, I've compiled a list of easily accessible role-playing situations which will definitely keep the sexy between you and your lover. And if they don't work for you... who told you to take sex advice from the celibate, single chick?

The Strangers
Accessories: None
Location: Living Room
Hands down, the easiest scenario to act out on the list. Pretend it's a public place that's practically empty. Maybe a park bench, or a library. You sit there, sexy and unexpecting. Lover asks if, "this seat's taken?" You respond no. When he sits down, slide as close to him as possible. Ask him what his name is. When he introduces himself, give him a fake name that you've always wished was your real one. Lean into the nape of the neck and ask what cologne he's wearing, while you drag the tip of your tongue around his neck. Then, take him by the hair, give him a good look in the eyes and, slide your tongue down his throat. After a quick nibble on his lower lip, tell him you want to get to know him!

*optional: For that extra edge, mid-romp, make sure to yell out, "What's your name again?!" 

The Hooker And The Cop
Accessories: hand cuffs, short-shorts/mini-skirt, the sluttiest top you've got in your closet. 
Location: A hallway
Pretend you're in an alley. Your guy is an undercover who's been watching you for a long time. He sternly grabs you by the arm and asks you what you're doing in that area so late at night. You tell him to fuck off. He pushes you against the wall, making sure his business is pressing against you. He leans in close and asks, "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't take you downtown right now?" Thrust your body into his business until it drives you crazy. Then tell him, "Lock me up and throw away the key! What do I care?" This is when he cuffs you. Once he's got it properly adjusted (make sure it isn't on too tight), tell him that you're having second thoughts and you don't want to go to jail. If he's really into character, then he'll as you what you're going to do to make him change his mind. This is when you get down on your knees - still cuffed, and blow his mind!

The Naughty School Girl And The Principal
Accessories: plaid mini-skirt, knee-highs (white, or red), black pumps, tight white blouse, pig tails
Location: Any room
Principal Ten Inch has called you into his office because once again, you missed P.E. Even though you give him your best sad puppy look, he's still ready to call up your parents, phone-in-hand. You walk over to him. Put the phone back in the cradle, and sit in his lap. Wrap your arms around him and beg him to please not call your parents. Tell him that, starting from that moment, you're going to be a very, very good girl. Tell him that you'll do anything he asks of you. And then, stick to your word!

The Housewife And The Burglar
Accessories: knee-length robe, pumps (any color), red lipstick, ski mask, water gun
Location: the kitchen
Obviously, you don't want to try this scenario on Thanksgiving Eve, while you and lover are staying with the in-laws. Still, when the kids are off to wherever, and you two lovebirds are the only ones home for a good while, the kitchen is most ideal for trying something new!

While you're in the kitchen doing dishes, you hear foot prints behind you. As you turn around, Lover's standing in front of you in all black, including his ski mask. He asks you where you keep the jewels and you tell him that there are none. He goes to the freezer and pulls out a brown paper bag. You start whining and pleading, begging him not to steal your jewels! That's when you drop your robe, revealing that you're completely naked. Tell him that, "What I'm working with is a lot more valuable than what you've got in that brown paper bag."

Who's The Boss?
Accessories: blindfold, ice cubes, whip cream/Kool Whip, *cherries, handcuffs
Location: the bedroom
This is my favorite, by far. Even though it isn't role playing, it's a great way for you and your love to get close while experimenting. Experimentation always leadts to the discovery of an act you didn't know you had in you. Also, it gives you the chance to completely dominate over your partner, and teach each other exactly what you like and dislike.

You're both completely naked, in bed. You sit on top, cuff one of his hands to the bed post (or rail), and blindfold him. Tell him that you're going to start off hot, and then cold. Take his un-cuffed hand and place it between your petunia. Take his middle finger and rub it against your clitoris to your liking. Then, tell him that that's how you like it. Now he knows!

Next, take one of the cherries and rub it against your lips before eating it. Then, press your lips against his and give him a few soft kisses. Ask him what you taste like. Then, put some whip cream/Kool Whip on your finger, then put it in his mouth. Take a little more, and dabble it over your breasts, then, have him lick it off.

Now, you're ready to move on to cold. Take one of the ice cubes and drag it around his body. Do it slowly. Start from the neck and work your way down. The ice cube will start dripping quickly, because of all the body heat. So, be sure to have napkins or a small towel on standby. When you're done with that, un-cuff his hand and let him rip off the blindfold.

*If you don't like cherries, then substitute with marshmellows, or chocolate chips. However, be cautious with the chips, because chocolate melts quickly once it's touched with body temperature.


Tamela J. Gordon

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Shallon Lester: So New York!

She's So New York sat down with Shallon Lester, star of MTV's new hit show, Downtown Girls. at Caliente Cab in the West Village!

While we're saving our gem of an interview for the official launch of our site (coming late summer!), here's a taste of why the Orange County transplant is sooo New York!





Be sure to check out Shallon and her fab friends taking over the Big Apple on Tuesdays at 11pm, only on MTV!

Check out our CANDIDS page!

Missed last night's festivities and you want to see what you missed? Check out our BRAND NEW CANDIDS page for event photos and more!

What She Says: Kitty Graves on S-E-X

After a 31 year residency tainted by the struggle of growing up in a drug-addicted household on the outskirts of Coney Island, Brooklyn, Kitty Graves has decided it’s time to Break up with Brooklyn. By way of her hardships, it has become increasingly difficult for her to see home for the opportunity it offers. Despite the despair and resentment she holds towards her bitter-borough, there's a piece of this girl that still can't let it go.

In this post, you'll read how Graves pulled herself out of the dark trenches of sexual domination, and, how she currently believes that she can find herself in the world of NYC tantric sex!




*Her Name: Kitty Graves
*Her Age: 31
*Her Borough: Brooklyn
* Her passions: "I will never stop writing. "
*"I am so New York because New York has attitude, style and grace. New York is sexy and confident... And so am I. "




SEX: Whether we’re talking biological gender or we're really getting into the nitty gritty and breaking down the act of intercourse, simply hearing the word will stop people in their tracks. We all want it – we all like it – so why are we afraid to embrace it?


I am probably one of the more liberated females you will meet. I have found myself in various sex-scenes ranging from the simplicity of a very vanilla union of boyfriend and girlfriend to the BDSM community to both private and public Sex Parties that happen in places you’d never expect within the belly of the beast that is NYC. My next attempt at harboring the sexual energy that lives inside of me is yet to come and it is in the form of Tantric expression and movement. I’m just starting the research to become involved in the Tantric community in New York City. I’m excited to be doing so for a number of reasons. The first and most vital being self actualization and self-love; secondly, the absolute sexiest characteristics one can encompass.


Like any hot-blooded female, my thoughts do not lay strictly in the spiritual. I have a pulse - and I have needs and there’s nothing wrong with embracing those desires that lay within. I thoroughly enjoy the fact that there are a myriad things in my arsenal of sexiness to support my wants. I mean let’s be honest here, ladies. We, as women... do we know how to work it or what? There is nothing quite like the look on a partners face when we turn on that extra little something to make them know we're serious. It may be a steamy look in our eye reminiscent of the fog that sits over Manhattan on a summer morning. Or, we may pucker our shiny lips just a little more than usual. One thing that's for sure is when we are getting serious about the serious we do not play games. Woman: such a commanding presence. We hold within us the power to melt hearts and minds with a single kiss. Our bodies contain so much energy that it’s no wonder we take pleasure in treating them like temples they are. We primp by using expensive bath oils and scented lotions and we’ll put on a silky negligee to do nothing more than sit on the couch. We smell sweet – we feel soft. Without even trying, we are the picture of sexiness. We have got it going on!!


The problem is this: not enough of us actually know this and/or believe it.


I’ve struggled with self-worth issues for the better part of my life. The primary reason I found myself involved in some of the ‘darker’ forms of sexuality was undoubtedly tied to my using the act of sex itself as a coping mechanism for life’s hurdles. Through therapy and a hell of a lot of introspective thought, however, I am finally opening my eyes to the amazing, sexy, worthy woman I am and I look so forward to the future of making right decisions moving forward. Enter Tantra.


There's a hell of a lot of fun to be had out there in the sexual world – especially here in NYC. Believe me, I know ;) – Just remember to be safe and always ensure that you feel valued in your relationships. There is nothing sexier than just that, the feeling of knowing that you are the epicenter of all that is magnificent as it relates to you and your partners encounters. Embrace that sexy female energy that runs through you. It may be a shade of lipstick or a loose fitting tee-shirt that makes you feel like that powerful sex-goddess – but, whatever it is make sure you rock it and make sure you rock it like you mean it!! Be Confident . Be Beautiful. Be Sexy. Be a lady.

Want more of Kitty Graves? Check out Breaking Up With Brooklyn and follow on Twitter!