Thursday, June 17, 2010

If It Isn't Easy Getting It In, Perhaps It's Time To Act Out

We're constantly being  reminded of how much men love the whole role playing bit. They don't want to just bone their girlfriends, they want to bone characters. The only thing that gets a guy off more than cheating, is getting the chance to get it on with his girl, who's pretending to be another girl.

It might be hard, initially, to bring up the idea of role-playing in the bedroom. However, if you're close enough to your love to get naked and sweaty with him, then, you should be close enough to tell him how you might like it. Once you get him on board, throw around a multitude of scenarios and see which one you both lean towards. Once you've agreed on who you'll be, explain the aspects you like about whatever scenario you're about to act out. Obviously, sex is rarely sexy when it's planned, so, I suggest leaving the exact moment you want to do it unspecified, simply saying you'll do it, "when the time's right."

If there's to be one main critique of this piece from a feminist point of view, it would be due to the submissive characters I suggest gals and gays to try. Well, allow me to remind the fem's that fantasies are almost always a reflection of what we ache for in real life. Wimps want to be tough guys. (Most) Obese people dream of being thin. We're women. That means that the bulk of our time goes towards being our most powerful and nurturing selves. We make it our business to be on top of everything and everyone, all the time. So, it should come as no surprise that, between the sheets, we get our rocks off when our boy-toys tell us why we've been bad, for a change!

While Spike TV, Vivid Video, Hustler, and other men mags give great visual on how one can don herself as a milk maid, or a slutty Catholic school girl, they do little to explain how to bring the visual to life. As a former-fornicator, yet, fiend for a vicariously good romp, I've compiled a list of easily accessible role-playing situations which will definitely keep the sexy between you and your lover. And if they don't work for you... who told you to take sex advice from the celibate, single chick?

The Strangers
Accessories: None
Location: Living Room
Hands down, the easiest scenario to act out on the list. Pretend it's a public place that's practically empty. Maybe a park bench, or a library. You sit there, sexy and unexpecting. Lover asks if, "this seat's taken?" You respond no. When he sits down, slide as close to him as possible. Ask him what his name is. When he introduces himself, give him a fake name that you've always wished was your real one. Lean into the nape of the neck and ask what cologne he's wearing, while you drag the tip of your tongue around his neck. Then, take him by the hair, give him a good look in the eyes and, slide your tongue down his throat. After a quick nibble on his lower lip, tell him you want to get to know him!

*optional: For that extra edge, mid-romp, make sure to yell out, "What's your name again?!" 

The Hooker And The Cop
Accessories: hand cuffs, short-shorts/mini-skirt, the sluttiest top you've got in your closet. 
Location: A hallway
Pretend you're in an alley. Your guy is an undercover who's been watching you for a long time. He sternly grabs you by the arm and asks you what you're doing in that area so late at night. You tell him to fuck off. He pushes you against the wall, making sure his business is pressing against you. He leans in close and asks, "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't take you downtown right now?" Thrust your body into his business until it drives you crazy. Then tell him, "Lock me up and throw away the key! What do I care?" This is when he cuffs you. Once he's got it properly adjusted (make sure it isn't on too tight), tell him that you're having second thoughts and you don't want to go to jail. If he's really into character, then he'll as you what you're going to do to make him change his mind. This is when you get down on your knees - still cuffed, and blow his mind!

The Naughty School Girl And The Principal
Accessories: plaid mini-skirt, knee-highs (white, or red), black pumps, tight white blouse, pig tails
Location: Any room
Principal Ten Inch has called you into his office because once again, you missed P.E. Even though you give him your best sad puppy look, he's still ready to call up your parents, phone-in-hand. You walk over to him. Put the phone back in the cradle, and sit in his lap. Wrap your arms around him and beg him to please not call your parents. Tell him that, starting from that moment, you're going to be a very, very good girl. Tell him that you'll do anything he asks of you. And then, stick to your word!

The Housewife And The Burglar
Accessories: knee-length robe, pumps (any color), red lipstick, ski mask, water gun
Location: the kitchen
Obviously, you don't want to try this scenario on Thanksgiving Eve, while you and lover are staying with the in-laws. Still, when the kids are off to wherever, and you two lovebirds are the only ones home for a good while, the kitchen is most ideal for trying something new!

While you're in the kitchen doing dishes, you hear foot prints behind you. As you turn around, Lover's standing in front of you in all black, including his ski mask. He asks you where you keep the jewels and you tell him that there are none. He goes to the freezer and pulls out a brown paper bag. You start whining and pleading, begging him not to steal your jewels! That's when you drop your robe, revealing that you're completely naked. Tell him that, "What I'm working with is a lot more valuable than what you've got in that brown paper bag."

Who's The Boss?
Accessories: blindfold, ice cubes, whip cream/Kool Whip, *cherries, handcuffs
Location: the bedroom
This is my favorite, by far. Even though it isn't role playing, it's a great way for you and your love to get close while experimenting. Experimentation always leadts to the discovery of an act you didn't know you had in you. Also, it gives you the chance to completely dominate over your partner, and teach each other exactly what you like and dislike.

You're both completely naked, in bed. You sit on top, cuff one of his hands to the bed post (or rail), and blindfold him. Tell him that you're going to start off hot, and then cold. Take his un-cuffed hand and place it between your petunia. Take his middle finger and rub it against your clitoris to your liking. Then, tell him that that's how you like it. Now he knows!

Next, take one of the cherries and rub it against your lips before eating it. Then, press your lips against his and give him a few soft kisses. Ask him what you taste like. Then, put some whip cream/Kool Whip on your finger, then put it in his mouth. Take a little more, and dabble it over your breasts, then, have him lick it off.

Now, you're ready to move on to cold. Take one of the ice cubes and drag it around his body. Do it slowly. Start from the neck and work your way down. The ice cube will start dripping quickly, because of all the body heat. So, be sure to have napkins or a small towel on standby. When you're done with that, un-cuff his hand and let him rip off the blindfold.

*If you don't like cherries, then substitute with marshmellows, or chocolate chips. However, be cautious with the chips, because chocolate melts quickly once it's touched with body temperature.


Tamela J. Gordon

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