(Almost) Every girl/guy dreams of the day he/she's going to get married, have kids, and, live happily ever after. I wished for it, but NEVER thought it would come true. Fast forward to married me, mother of two and here I am!At their best, relationships - no matter the level of seriousness, should motivate you to become your best woman. Women are like snowflakes. We all come w/ our own different set of needs and expectations. However, there are a few attributes that ALL women can agree they look for in their potential lover. We want him to be attentive, communicative, and understanding to all the sensitivities and hormonal imbalances that have become the gift and the curse of our womanhood.
Now that She's So New York is heading into our relationships week, I've decided to share a few tips that can help you get the most out of the chemistry you share with your lover. So, whether it's short-term, live-in, long distance, or waiting for gay marriage to FINALLY be legal, here's a few need-to-knows that will enhance what you already have!
1. Be each other's friends as well as lovers: You've heard this before right? But how many of us actually understand what this rule entails? You and your mate should be able to spend a reasonable amount of time together, one-on-one. No cells, no friends, no bullshit. Just the two of you. If you can't laugh together, talk about any and everything, be silly, then, is it even worth it?.
2. Respect each other's space: One of the best things about a secure relationship, is doing completely different things and never forgetting about each other. I respect my husband's need for video games and sports, while he knows I live for She's So New York. If your lover wants to do something without you, as long as it is within the boundaries and respect of the relationship, by all means, LET THEM. Stifling a person can drain a relationship and therefore leave a person itching to run for the border. Space doesn't mean lack of love or like for you, but rather away to keep it fresh.
3. RESPECT EACH OTHER!!: While we're on the subject of respecting. I have tirelessly heard thousands of stories, all with the same scenario: a partner does something (that they themselves would hate happen to them) to their significant other and refuses totake responsibility for their actions. We have to take consideration for each other's feelings, think before we act and do things we may regret later. Before doing something questionable, ask yourself: "How would I feel if he/she did this to me?" If you can be honest with yourself and say that you would feel less than stellar, DON'T DO IT. You can't ask for respect, if you're not willing to give respect.
4. Communicate, even when you don't want to: No conversation is too little - even the most minuscule of things should be communicated with each other. Never assume, it is always important to talk to your mate when you are unsure of something. Lack of communication is the #1 killer of all relationships, aside from lack of honesty and infidelity. It is a personal theory of mine that not speaking to one another is the springboard for the most unnecessary of damaging things to arelationship: cheating. Be honest with yourself and with your partner.Discuss things in depth, and DON'T ARGUE!
5. Know who you are, it might save you some trouble later: All too often, I see many people in dead-end relationships. You know them: the ones who are utterly unhappy, dread speaking/seeing/knowing this person, yet stay. Fear of loneliness and the unknown has been the notorious reason for these couples who hate each other, but hate the idea of being without each other. Like the song goes, you gotta know when to fold em. Had I listened to this same advice years ago, I would've saved myself a whole lot of pain and anguish. You have to know who you are, what you want, what you don't want. While all relationships require a little bit of compromise, you have to know what you're not willing to accept. Dead end relationships keep you from the one you're destined to be with (if you believe in that sort of thing), and most importantly, keep you from being your best self. Stop compromising your happiness, leave when you've exhausted all options.
Have I missed anything? Do you agree/disagree? Do YOU believe that a successful drama free relationship can exist in the Big Apple? Why/Why Not? Leave your comments here and share your own experiences with us! Send your entries to walkergordonproductions@gmail.com!
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